Oh god I hate Sunday VERY much... My mortal enemy...

Let's begin..

In past then. My life wasn't the best ones. bullied, my grandpa death, heartaches, sorrow, misunderstandings.
I was living with my dreams by better life and future.
Then in November 23 2007. I was met very interesting young lady from DA.
She was so kind. She would listen to that I had to say. She was wise and cares. She also made me laughing. Brought a light to my solitary life. She was very different like other girls.
We settled meeting on the Idea Park mall.
That day was awesome. I was so excited about meeting. I was thinking what a kind person she real was.
I got hard to believe it... But... She was adorable. I was got some problems to hiding my shyness. Oh well... Everything was going alright after all. I brings her back to she home. I can't tell my feeling about that day...
That day was memorable...
After that day... I life changed forever.
I falled in love with her more and more. She was everything to me and I did't care what others said about two as.
Our happiness continued almost whole year. When... Things start goes wrong. ...very wrong.

I am really did't had chances about any of girls long time. Except her, but she doesn't feel the same way anymore, so I decided a while ago to let it be, and just be friends.
we don't see each other a lot anymore.

I HATE GOSSIP!
I wasn't put on this earth to worry about people who have nothing better to do than to judge me by one stupid little thing!
Gosh you guys, people upset me so much sometimes. I mean am I really that bad, because I cared what people thought? Um... don't you think it's better that I try not to listen to people being judgemental or critical of me? I am still nice to everyone, so I have sometime no clue what he/she means. Come to telling me that I deserve to come hated and I hurt my friends? I don't want guys thinking I'm a heartless.
I just don't understand why people say stuff, when I try do something good to others. It's not fair. I can barely trust anyone anymore......especially with my business.
Unfortunately because I had lonely past of my life. Peoples did't noticed me much, so I wanted showed my skills to get peoples noticed me finally. I guess I'm guilty of that too.
I mean sure drawing is harmless, but... *confused*
Is it wrong that I think that our world is so fucked up that no matter what we do we can't fix it again.

I feel that a big Empty place in me.
That makes me nervous and Sad.
However, I feel fine when I meet my MSN friends.
and especially
Thank you all, who still keep me on stand. ^^

I am certainly not one to just hook up with people, I'm too shy to initiate.
Of course I helping peoples who needs help, because I care.
It's kinda sad, like when school is over, going to home, being shy goofy myself, walking down the hall way.. not caring. Watching when pretty happy couple walking past me... *sighs*
I just really... really..wish I had a someone. I just want to have someone to hang out with, stick up for me, talk to me... something.
Oh well, it's been a long day and night, and I must go to school....
This weekend was kind short this time, beacause I had long 11 hours school day on Friday.

please leave me some comments.... something to cheer me up, I'm feeling a little depressed. I guess just feeling like a bad person.

Take care everyone.